Miss You
by syzygy13
Summary: A very short story of Sam's thoughts about her dad. She misses him. Wouldn't you?


I guess I always thought that Sam should end up happy. This is written about nobody in particular but Sam and her dad- sorry, shippers. Character/s not mine.

She was afraid to cry lest she risk her mascara smearing. She didn't want to look teary eyed for the photos, and she certainly didn't want to seem sad on what should be the happiest day of her life.

Really, it was a happy day. It was one day where she could feel selfish, where she could say, "I did all that for the world, I'm allowed my happiness!" She avoided saying that for so long, but finally she realized she _did _deserve it. And she really was happy.

She realized a while back that as a Lieutenant Colonel she would inevitably make Colonel (especially with the rate she was at- two promotions in five years!) and while that was certainly an interesting prospect, she knew that as a full bird her opportunities to go off-world would be limited, as she could admit that perhaps field tactics was not exactly her prime forte, and she could willingly leave that to someone else for a place at Area 51. She figured that since her hide wouldn't be in danger nearly as often, she could finally find love and call it a lifetime.

She did. They did. They had a house, and though it didn't have a white picket fence, they had a dog. She was a big black Newfoundland named Piwacket, whom they lovingly called Pi for short.

Everything was perfect, except one thing.

Her dad wasn't there. They had fallen out, then became father and daughter again, and he wasn't there to give her away. He wasn't there to dance with her. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. He wanted her to be truly happy and didn't live to see the day she actually was. There was something so inherently wrong about the situation that she had to fight back tears.

Sam was at her own wedding in a sparkling gown, a full bird Colonel finally settling down, but didn't have her father with her. While she had been solitary for much of her life, she liked the idea that her dad could have given her away to another man. She knew she was always his Sammie.

She had never been a God-fearing woman. As a child she marveled at space and the earth and how things worked but never attributed them to an all-powerful being. When her mother died any belief she may have had in God dissipated to nothingness. As a member of SG-1, she had met so many false gods that she couldn't possibly believe that there had been a real one to begin with. Maybe Jesus was an Ancient, she mused. She didn't really have any belief in an afterlife unless you were one so enlightened as to Ascend, but she really didn't see that as being her father's fate. All she knew is that she hoped his last moments were peaceful

As these thoughts were going through her head, she was swept off her feet by her dashing new husband to dance together for the first time as husband and wife. She had kept her own name and her husband agreed thoroughly- she was a Carter, and she would never have anyone refer to her with any other name. She kept it because it was who she was, but also because it kept a part of her father alive with her.

As they danced, she pressed her cheek to his shoulder, finally letting a few of the tears that before had been so threatening fall on his jacket. He couldn't feel them through the fabric, but he could tell by her demeanor she was leaning on him. He looked down and saw her tear-brimmed eyes, dulled by her obvious sadness.

He leaned down slightly and whispered to her, "I'm so sorry he's not here…" and set his chin on top of her veiled head.

She remembered where she was- her wedding. The happiest day of her life and she was crying on her husband's shoulder, mourning the lack of presence of a man who had been dead for years. Then a new thought emerged.

She reached up with her left hand to her lover's face, new ring sparkling under the ballroom lights and cool against his cheek. A genuine, small smile crossed her face, even though her eyes were still tear-brimmed. She kissed his other cheek and rested her head in that wonderful place between his neck and his shoulder. If she was lucky, she could have children with this man. She would raise them and care for them and make sure they were happy. She would watch them grow up and become adults and go off onto their own lives. She would be at her daughter's wedding, smiling and laughing and happy that her daughter was happy. Even though he was not there anymore, she could pass on her father's spirit to her own children.

She missed her father more than she could say, but he taught her a lot more than she could even understand. She had been so happy to have him back in her life after the indefinite hiatus their relationship had been on, and she wouldn't trade those years for the world.

Now, she was going to look toward her future without ever forgetting her past.

Her dad would have been proud.


End file.
